Nail Fail #3
Well Best City Nails doesn’t like to bitch too much, and so it’s been a while since we’ve posted in our Nail Fail category.
But this frightful sight from Allegra Mostyn-Owen – an artist and Oxford graduate most notable for her 6-year marriage to London mayor Boris Johnson – has caught our attention in the pages of the Brave Boris Promotional Pamphlet, often referred to as the Evening Standard (article here).
Ms Mostyn-Owen appeared in an interview to explain how great and funny Boris Johnson is (cheers, but we all know he’s really funny…for many people this is considered his sole redeeming feature). She also explained how into Muslims she is, and how she knows loads about Muslims, and so Boris probably loves them as well. And how she and Boris had loads of fun at university sending notes to each other and drinking wine.
ALRIGHT ALLEGRA, well we’re ALL very anti-Islamaphobia and we ALL had fun at university drinking wine….doesn’t mean we need to go around proving our fun-loving and down-to-earth credentials with a maroon manicure and a chipped, black contrast nail. WHAT THE FUCK?!
What an aggressive, classless colour combination. I mean what is this? Apart from the family jewels, this could be the hand of a scruffy rebellious teenager, swigging cider and smoking weed in the park, listening to ska punk. Which is fine, in its place.
And these sorry-looking short nails are being done no favours dressed in such dark colours. Less Avril Lavigne and more Hilary Devey, pls.
The ‘I’m an artist and I am relaxed in my own home’ is fine if executed well, but chipped nails are no friend of this blog.
HERE IS THE DIVINE DEVEY DEMONSTRATING HOW TO DO AN INTERVIEW AND NAIL-ART PHOTO SHOOT IN YOUR HOME:
CAPISCE?! Devey’s subtle pose couldn’t be further from Allegra’s ‘LOOK AT ME! Look how A) rich B) ethnic-friendly and C) nail-art-retarded I am! ALL ON ONE CASUAL-YET-VERY-OBVIOUSLY-POSITIONED HAND!’
We have to give these an epic…
0/10
I mean, what’s to like? Miley’s nails got two marks for at least not being chipped – we can’t even afford such generosity here.
Sorry Allegra; newly-appointed Evening Standard Queen of the East London Muslims you may be (lol), but a nail queen you are not.
Week #20 – Nautical nails
Farewell, my lovely Nancy, for it’s now I must leave you,
All on the salt seas I am bound for to go;
But let my long absence be no trouble to you,
For I shall return in the spring, as you know…
This week we’re serving up some serious maritime realness!
Standard skull with crossed sword and bone, the desert island and sunset (a classic 90s nail motif) a ship, circled in rope over a parchmenty effect (white dappled with yellow powder) an anchor, and some merpeople!
So far the sunset proving by far the most popular (when fingers placed together it forms a whole island, like two pieces of a jigsaw – the merpeople compliment each other in a similar way).
I am proudest of the ship, though, as I thought that one could go very badly.
Skull and crossbones is black painted over a white background, oddly, just because I thought this would be easier.
[click on above image for mind-blowing HD]
9.8/10
You love it, we love it.
Goin this way, that way, forward and backwards, over the deep blue sea,
A bottle of rum to fill my tum and THAT’S THE LIFE FOR ME!
Nail Street Style #5
This is Chan. She is a hip young thing who we met in Topshop.
We had to get a picture of these dream talons, which a friend did for her.
Chan always has nails done so I asked her about phones and she said:
“I used to have a Blackberry but my nails were actually completely ruining the keys, so I have just changed to an iPhone and I hate it. I absolutely hate it! I’m like [mimes trying to use a touch screen with a really flat finger.]”
Well we all know about that, but who needs to be able to use a phone when your glittery, Chanel nails looks so sickening?!
Week #18 – Springtime nails
For our Easter nails we have gone for two nails decorated with patterns inspired by ones you typically find on springtime confectionary packaging, some Easter bunnies, some daffodils, and a Christian cross in springtime colours, to remind us of the sacrifice of Christ.
I am constantly amazed by the triumphs and challenges nail art presents. You would think that the white rabbit or the daffodils would be, by some margin, the trickiest nails here, and yet these designs have produced strong results, and the straight-forward looking crosses are the wonky villains letting the team down.
Sorry, but I haven’t included any instruction or photos of different stages because there’s too many techniques involved when every nail is different.
Click on image for ludicrous HD.
9/10
We’re quite proud of how these have gone, and may have even gone for a rare 10/10 score if the crosses were a little neater but unfortunately we were hurried just as were finishing those two. Not 100% sold on the gold swirly fingers, either – I would never have done a design like this if it weren’t inspired by Easter eggs, and there is a brown to purple Powder Gradient which is not as visible as hoped.
But Best City Nails is not about perfection – it is about spirit.
May the true spirit of Easter be with you this weekend.
“And he saith unto them, Be not affrighted: Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth, which was crucified: he is risen; he is not here: behold the place where they laid him.” – Mark 16:6